He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize