my mouth tastes like poor choices
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
