Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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