So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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