I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
