Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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