The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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