I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
