wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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