O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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