I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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