How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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