Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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