If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
