youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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