There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
