Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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