As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
