at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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