Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
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The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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