So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
