Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize