So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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