I'm drive I can fine osifer
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
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