I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize