I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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