DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
