new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
