I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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