Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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