is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
this just has baby written all over it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
