Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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