she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
