She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
