2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
