fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize