We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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