Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
