Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
