is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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