I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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