i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
