Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
