I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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