i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
