im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
