i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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