Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize