Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
