2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
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