she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
