hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I understand Curling. That high.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
