it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
