I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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