just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
