I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
