There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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