please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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