if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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