Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
