she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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