I'm lost and stupid without you.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
50% drunk capacity currently
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
