It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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