I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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