your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
