carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i would punch a child for taco bell
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
