I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize